There's a few things I'm simply obsessed about. I can't spend one day without them appearing to my mind and constantly distracting my daily life. There has been many days that I haven't even recognized that I'm still continuing the upsetting acts and that I'm constantly pushing myself down by doing these things without caring about the fact that they make me painfully anxious. I can feel these things eating me inside very clearly, and defeating me everyday more and more. But it's too hard to stop the torture now. It's just me. The person I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

The mental cage I'm in is the only thing that i have left. My life's currently better than ever, but I'm not following. I'm not going with the flow. I'm distracted by the small details from the past. I can't let go of anything that truly bothers me. It's upsetting, but maybe I'll grow out of it someday. Everything is never enough.

I don't even know if i want to feel great. I guess i already would've, if i would've wanted to. Maybe I'm one of those blind occasions; sad, angsty and full of selfpity. That's what I've always hated about other people. I've always hated myself. My life's full of contradiction and irony, it's almost funny. I really hate when i can't see anything. I have so much in front of me, and IN me, but i still don't see shit. I'd like to be enlightened about this person I'm in. I guess there's not enough brain capacity left of the angst and shit for me to really GET IT. I'm such a dumbass.